The Downtown Women's Club blog

Guest Post: 5 Social Media Mistakes Businesses Make by Sherrie A. Madia PhD

The following Guest post by Sherrie A. Madia PhD, is adapted from "The Social Media Survival Guide."

Ready to jump into the social media world? Great! But before you do, know that being a user of social media, and understanding its strategic applications for your PR, marketing, and communications initiatives, are two dramatically different skill sets.

Some mistakes to avoid:

Mistake #1: Diving in without a strategic plan.

Don't start podcasting, blogging, tweeting, friending on Facebook, and posting YouTube videos until you know what your messages are, who will manage them, who your audience is, and how they and you are going to benefit from the content and relationships.

Mistake #2: Not having a social media policy.

Your social media policy needs to outline how employees behave in the online universe during and outside of work. It should include education on style preferences and confidentiality. All messaging coming from employees should be aligned with your company's values and brand.

Mistake #3: Failing to tailor the plan to your target audience.

Hone in on sites, tools, and applications your target audience is using. Is your audience out walking in the park most afternoons, without so much as a cell phone? Or are they technology lovers who are never parted with their BlackBerry or iPhone? Research your target market to find out who they are and how to reach them.

Mistake #4: Producing weak, unfocused, or unhelpful content.

The same messaging rules that apply to classic public relations and branding apply to social media. Create strong, smart, well-thought-out content that adds value to your customers' lives. Don't waste their time with self-serving promo. Give them something they can use -- tips, incentives, product information, new ideas, fun, and inspiration.

Mistake #5: Allowing your social media efforts to stagnate.

Gone are the days when companies could put up a website that sat on the screen like an electronic business card. Social media is about maintaining a dynamic conversation between you and your customers. Equip your content for the RSS-share-save-post-to revolution so it gets out there in multiple places. Answer blog, Flickr, and podcast posts; respond to tweets; engage "friends." Remember: Social media, done right, is not a one-off campaign by a handful of staff; it's a long-term corporate commitment.


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Sherrie A. Madia PhD is Director of Communications at the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania, where she teaches Social Media and Communication Strategies. She also serves on the Advisory Board of EyeCatcher Digital, a tech strategy and marketing firm. With fellow social media strategist Paul Borgese, she is coauthor of The Social Media Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know to Grow Your Business Exponentially with Social Media (Second Edition). Find out more about her and the book at www.SocialMediaCentral.com.

Guest Post: The Emerging Identity of Women by Marcia Reynolds

There is a new generation of women in the workplace. They grew up in the self-help era with more confidence than the women who came before them. In fact, the majority of the women at work today represent the first generation of women who were told they could accomplish anything they put their mind to.

Additionally, with the passing of Title IX in the United States in the 1970's, sports programs for girls flourished and women have now outnumbered men in college degrees. These trends can be found around the world wherever women have a chance to go to school and be active in sports. As a result, there are an increasing number of women who believe they are strong in their bodies as well as their minds. Plus, the increase in college degrees gives women more ways to be self-sufficient.

The magazine stands and self-help books do not reflect this emerging identity of women. These are not a sect of women who act like men. Today's smart, strong women have the drive like men but still have the sensitivity of women. Instead of playing it safe, they crave frequent new challenges to conquer. They love being busy and hate feeling bored. They want to be valued, respected and recognized and will work hard to deserve it. They struggle when they feel pigeon-holed, underutilized, micro-managed, slowed down, and ignored.

These women don't need to be taught assertiveness skills. They ask for what they want. Then as soon as they feel that they are being treated unfairly or with disrespect, they begin to look for another job or start planning to own their own businesses.

Many strong, smart women look at their jobs as training for when they can break out and be an entrepreneur. They don't make plans to climb one corporate ladder. Statistics that bemoan the lack of women in the boardroom do not take into account that many women are choosing another path.

The question of being a corporate executive or not is not the biggest issue on their minds. More than titles and money, they want motion and meaning. However, this desire fuels a restlessness as they constantly need to find "something more" in their lives.

Therefore, the downside is not that these women are giving up their femininity. Instead, they are giving up their peace of mind.

It is wonderful that girls are now brought up believing in their greatness. But having the goal of "being great" is as hard to define as it is to achieve. There is always "the next great thing" to master, which leaves them feeling exhausted and incomplete. I have come to call this phenomenon the "Burden of Greatness."

If you recognize the Burden in yourself, it is likely your gifts of intelligence, resourcefulness, courage and determination have also been a burden. Some days you wonder if it is all worth it. You hunger for a day of rest and long for a chance to pamper your body. You laugh when someone suggests you need life balance. The best you can do is balance your energy as you go about your busy day. You can still love your friends, your partner and your children, but you know there will always be an internal struggle about how you show your love.

There is both a light and a dark side to this emerging identity of women. It's time the books recognize this phenomenon and help these women meet their challenges while getting what they desire.

The research plus exercises for helping smart, strong women can be found in Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction, by Marcia Reynolds, PsyD. Read more at www.WanderWomanBook.com.

© 2010 Marcia Reynolds

Downtown Women's Club weekend book club: Books v. Movie Versions

Reprinted from the DWC Facebook Weekend Book Club series.

If you're a fan of the The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and the rest of the series, are you going to see the movie adaption? Right now the Swedish version has been released in the US, but I also understand they are making a US version. I've always been a strong advocate of reading the book before seeing the movie. It's only the rare occasion (i.e., I'm stuck on an airplane or it involves George Clooney) that I switch it up. Here are a few of my thoughts on recent books v. movie versions.

• Up in the Air - Only saw the movie; heard book is completely different (I invoked the George Clooney rule here).
• Time Traveler's Wife - LOVED the book, still have yet to see the movie. I was willing to forgo the bad reviews at first but ... somehow it's one of those things that might be easier to read about than visualize? The whole naked man showing up in a field with a little girl is a bit awkward. Of course if it was George Clooney, I might think differently.
• Precious - Read the book but didn't see the movie yet as, just like in TTW, it may be hard to watch (which means that I'll eventually watch it but I'd have to be in the mood).
• The Blind Side - I liked the book, but for completely separate reasons than why I liked the movie.
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - LOVED the books (#1 was the best, then #3 and #2 was just OK) and may drag hubby to see the movie that way we'll have a non-reader v. a reader's opinion.
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid - This is from my son's point of view: He loved the book, and the movie was OK. Some of his friends didn't like the movie because they didn't like that they added a character. My son, following in his mother's footsteps, is not a purist when it comes to adapting literature, and didn't mind that they added the older girl (we discussed how she helped narrate and also might help girls like the film better). My take?: as kids films go - it was forgettable. (Go see How to Train Your Dragon instead).

So what's your opinion on Books v. Movie versions: Purist? Or open to adaptions and modifications?

Do you always try to read the book first?

Why do you think some books work better as movies than others? Does it depend on the casting? i.e. if they cast someone you totally never pictured in the part?

What's your favorite book to movie adaption, or your least favorite? My favorite book to movie adaptions list:

1. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Despite subtle plot changes, some of the dialogue was verbatim out of the book (even if they were spoken by other characters in the movie than originally intended).
2. Clueless - Yes, this is Emma revisited. (Told you I wasn't a purist).
3. The Wizard of Oz
4. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -I'm partial to the original movie, not the Depp version.
5. Charlotte's Web (the original cartoon one)
6. The Princess Bride - This is one where I saw the movie 10 times before reading the book (which is hysterical by the way!)
7. The Godfather
8. Pride & Prejudice - Both the Colin Firth version and the Keira Knightly one.
9. High Fidelity & About a Boy by Nick Hornby - Perfect casting with John Cusack and Hugh Grant, respectively.
10. Bridget Jones' Diary
11. Fight Club
12. Lord of the Rings

This week's discussion started by Diane K. Danielson, founder, Downtown Women's Club.

6 Guidelines for Resolving Intergenerational Conflict Guest Post by Larry and Meagan Johnson

For the first time in history, there are five generations working side by side: the Traditional Generation (born pre-1945), Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964), Generation X (born 1965-1980), Generation Y (1981-1995), and the Linkster Generation (born after 1995). Since conflicts often arise in a multi-generational environment, it's helpful to have some understanding of the differences between employees of distinct generations.
 
Each generation has been influenced by the major historical events, social trends, and cultural phenomena of their time, shaping their ideas about everything from expectations and perceptions about what the working environment will provide and how they should behave as employees, to company loyalty and work ethic.
 
Here are some guidelines for resolving intergenerational conflict:
 
1.      Look at the generational factor. Is this conflict generational, or is there something else going on? For example, Traditionals and Baby Boomers don't like to be micromanaged, while Gen Yers and Linksters crave specific, detailed instructions about how to do things and are used to hovering authorities. There is almost always a generational component to conflict; recognizing this offers new ways to resolve it.
 
2.      Consider the generational values at stake. Each generation is protecting a distinct set of values, and conflict may threaten these values. For example, Baby Boomers value teamwork, cooperation, and buy-in, while Gen Xers prefer to make a unilateral decision and move on--preferably solo.
 
3.      Air different generations' perceptions. When employees of two or more generations are involved in a workplace conflict, they can learn a great deal by sharing their perceptions. For instance, a Traditional may find a Gen Yer's lack of formality and manners offensive, while a Gen Yer may feel dissed when this older employee fails to respect her opinions and input. Have each party use "I" statements to avoid potentially negative confrontations.
 
4.      Find a generationally appropriate fix. You can't change people's life experience. But you can work with the set of workplace attitudes and expectations that come from it. So, for instance, if you have a knowledgeable Boomer who is frustrated by a Gen Yer's lack of experience coupled with his sense of entitlement, turn the Boomer into a mentor. Or you may have a Gen Xer who is slacking off and phoning it in. Instead of punishing him, give him a challenging assignment, the fulfillment of which is linked to a tangible reward.
 
5.      Find commonality and complements. When we study generations, some common and complementary characteristics emerge--and these can be exploited when dealing with conflict between them. For instance, Traditionals and Generation Y employees both tend to value security and stability. Traditionals and Boomers tend to resist change--but both crave training and development. Gen X and Gen Y employees place a high value on workplace flexibility and work-life balance. Boomers and Linksters are most comfortable with diversity and alternative lifestyles. Gen Y and Linksters are technologically adept and committed to socially responsible policies.
 
6.      Learn from each other. Each generation has valuable lessons to teach the next. For example, Traditionals and Boomers have a wealth of knowledge and tricks of the trade that younger workers need. Generation X employees are widely known for their fairness and mediation abilities. Generation Y workers are technology wizards. And Linksters hold clues to future workplace, marketing, and business trends. 
 
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Larry and Meagan Johnson, a father-daughter team, are the Johnson Training Group (www.johnsontraininggroup.com), whose clients include several government agencies, American Express, Harley-Davidson, Nordstrom, Dairy Queen, and many others. They are leading experts on managing multi-generational workplaces, and are coauthors of Generations, Inc.: From Boomers to Linksters--Managing the Friction Between Generations at Work (Amacom, 2010).

Five Steps to Complaining Consciously, Guest Post by Karen McLaren

Mad? Stressed? In a mood? They say no one likes a whiner, but conscious complaining—giving voice to our struggles in a deliberate way—works wonders for our mental health.  Conscious complaining works precisely because it speaks to real feelings. It’s healing. Not only is it a great way to de-steam, it can give you a clear idea of what’s holding you back. Contradictory as it sounds, you can’t be happy unless you complain!

As young children we are taught to hide our emotions and to lie about our feelings. The result is that we shut down our natural empathic abilities and lose our most important tool for navigating gracefully through life. Through empathy, we can hear the meaning behind words, decipher the postures people unconsciously adopt, and understand the emotional states of others as well as ourselves.

In The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You, I suggest a radical new perspective: that all of our emotions (even those labeled bad) are equally important messengers, ready to assist us in acting with full awareness and integrity. By honoring our emotions—instead of overreacting to or repressing them—each one becomes a powerhouse of energy, information, and often healing.

While conscious complaining brings us face to face with our feelings, positive affirmations tend to override the truth of them. They also fail to address the issues behind the problem. The statement, “Food is healing and slenderizing for me” does provide a pleasant inner dialogue, but it doesn’t speak to the issues behind the eating problem. Positive affirmations elevate verbal-intellectual statements above emotional truths, creating inner conflict.  In essence, you’re telling yourself how to feel, rather than how you actually feel.

So, how does one complain consciously? Here are five steps:

1. Find a private place. Complain to furniture, walls, trees, sky, or to whatever strikes your fancy. For ace complainers, create a complaining shrine—the more humorous, the better. Rather than focusing on specific images of people who are the focus of your anger, it’s better to decorate your shrine in a fun way, for example, with pictures of grumpy cats, cranky babies, barking dogs, or whatever makes you feel welcome to complain. (Note:  you might not want to complain to other people since complaining is uncomfortable for most to listen to; they want to stop the litany, fix it or help.)
2. Start your complaining with a phrase like, “I’m complaining now!”
3. Let yourself go! Give voice to your dejected, hopeless, sarcastic, nasty, and bratty self.
4. When you run out of things to say, thank the furniture, walls, the ground, etc. for listening and end your conscious complaining session by bowing or shaking off.
5. Do it often. Just like meditation, conscious complaining is highly effective as a regular practice.

You'll be astonished at how quickly this works! Conscious complaining helps you figure out exactly what is going on so that you can make healthy changes.

Karla McLaren (www.karlamclaren.com) is an empathic counselor, researcher and award-winning author whose groundbreaking work with emotions grew from an early childhood trauma into a practical healing modality. Her new book is The Language of Emotions—What Your Feelings Are Trying To Tell You.

Downtown Women's Club weekend book club: Authors on "Auto-buy"

This post was reprinted from the DWC Facebook Weekend Book Club series.

Are there any authors who are so good that you pick up their latest book when you see it in the library or the bookstore without any concern about the plot? I realized I did this the other day with Nick Hornby's latest one: Juliet, Naked: a novel. Saw it in the library and just grabbed it without even reading the inside flap. I liked it. Not my favorite by him, but still any Hornby is better than most books.

Another author I'm on "auto-buy" for is Nelson DeMille. His new one, The Lion, is coming out in June. Since it's a sequel to an earlier one (and I hear he does his usual mention of other books/characters in the story) it's kind of a no-brainer for me. The only question I have is whether to get the iPhone kindle app and buy the Kindle version because I don't want to lug a hardback on vacation (nor do I want to shell out the $$ for a Kindle). Hmmmm. 

I'd also have to say Pat Conroy is an "auto-buy".

Are there any authors out there who you pick up anything you see by them without a second thought?

Downtown Women's Club weekend book club: Destination Novels

Reprinted from the DWC Facebook Weekend Book Club series.

Since it's going to be a few months before I get a vacation, sometimes I like to read books about my favorite vacation spot: France.  Here are a few novels that I've picked up over the past few years set in France.

On the more literary front:

Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Parties, affairs, mental illness and drinking problems all in a beautiful villa in the South of France.

Bonjour Tristesse by Francoise Sagan. This is the classic coming of age novel where a young girl learns about life and love alongside her widowed father. Cecile, the main character is a female Holden Caufield. I even caught the 1958 film version after reading it for the first time two summers ago.

Dreaming in French by Megan McAndrew.  I believe there were even references to Bonjour Tristesse in this novel that I picked up last week.  Nothing like the glamorous background of expats in Paris in the 70s and 80s to lead a self-absorbed mother to break up a family.

The Elegance of the Hedgehog.  Set in Paris, this book won numerous awards in France.  It follows the lives of a "prickly" concierge and a handful of tenants in her building. Definitely for the "literary-minded".  I liken it to almost a modern-day Jane Austen novel.  Click here for my full review. 

Other books about France that were of interest and fun, but not much in the way of literary achievement.

• Anything by Peter Mayle.
  
• Le Marriage, Le Divorce, L'Affaire and Into a Paris Quartier all by Diane Johnson.
  
• The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coehlo about murders during the Cannes Film Festival.
  
• Stephen Clarke's series that starts with A Year in the Merde.
  

Now for some really "light" reading about the South of France (in fact I can't even recommend these with a straight face other than that they are set in and around where my family lives):

• There's Something About St. Tropez by Elizabeth Adler
  
• Sunset in St. Tropez by Danielle Steele
  

And for some absolute pure trash:

• French Trysts: Secrets of a Courtesan.  How an American girl becomes a Parisian courtesan (Memoirs of a Geisha this is not ... but a fun beach read).
  

Finally, on my list for this summer:

• Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind.  Murders in the perfume capital - Grasse.
  
• The Gap Year for Grownups by Annie Sanders.  British chick lit set in the South of France.  British chick lit is almost always superior to American chick lit ... but I think we'll save that for next week's discussion!
  

So, what are your favorite destination novels? And do you know any more French ones I can read (prefer South of France ... since that's the part I know best!)

Downtown Women's Club weekend book club: Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert

Reprinted from the DWC Facebook Weekend Book Club series

We’re kicking off our DWC Book Club with Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert because it seems to invoke some strong reactions in folks.

First, most people picked it up thinking it would be another Eat, Pray, Love. It’s not. There’s no real plot or story line, it’s more like a personal thesis on the state of marriage.

Second, I’ve noticed that what you think of this book depends totally on your own life experience and choices. I’ll be blunt and say that I actually hated, despised, and couldn’t stand the first chapters. I literally yelled at the audio CD while it was playing in my car. I can’t recall a book ever invoking that much of a reaction from me.

What didn’t I like? Gilbert’s constant whining about how awful it is that she will be forced to marry a man who she loves if they want to live in the US because he is not a citizen. Why is this idea of marrying the man she loves so gut-wrenchingly awful for her? She claims that it's because they both had horrible divorces and therefore couldn’t possibly remarry. What would I like to say to Ms. Gilbert?

1. Many divorces are horrible and clearly there were some betrayals and difficult financial negotiations in yours, but … your divorce did not involve abuse or children and high-conflict custody battles that extend for years. Now those are tough divorces from which you are allowed to say that you could never recover.
2. You don’t have problems, you have choices. You could choose to marry the man you love and who loves you and live in the same house in the US. Or, you can live anywhere in the world together, and/or have a long distance relationship if you want to stay in the US and not marry him. Lots of people don’t have these options and others live apart from their significant other all the time. They have different jobs in different cities. They are in the military. There are also relocation limitations on divorced parents. These people don't have your choices.

Once I overlooked that part of the book, the discussions on marriage in different cultures was interesting and highlighted the fact that most marriages are based on an economic dependency combined with a community of support for the marriage. This is notable because in the US this structure doesn’t exist: most marriages today are not built out of economic dependency, and many of us barely know our communities and we don't often live near family, so there is no external support. Thus, there is nothing other than companionship, kindness and respect left to maintain a marriage.

Another part that many of my friends liked in the book was the section on being childless by choice. I thought this was one of the best parts of the book and a topic that is under and/or mis-represented in our culture. I never believed that all women were meant to be mothers, just like all women aren’t meant to have a certain type of career. Hence my dislike of Maria Shriver's "A Woman's Nation" report that focused solely on mothers.( Read more on that at the WomensDISH blog).

By the end, while Gilbert's fawning over her lover bordered on nauseating, I felt Gilbert started to eat a little humble pie and recognize that there were many other people who had real problems and how ridiculous she might sound. But, as someone who is divorced, remarried, has four kids (mine and his), a needy dog, who can’t even take an overnight trip without negotiating in advance with up to 9 or 10 people, I couldn’t really feel sorry for Gilbert. In fact, the thought of traipsing around the world with someone she loves, no responsibility and a big book advance, sounds like a pretty nice choice to me… What do you all think?

This week's book review discussion started by Diane K. Danielson, founder, Downtown Women's Club.

Guest Post: Dressing Your Professional Truth by Carol Tuttle

The standard professional attire for a woman - a dark structured suit with a tailored light colored blouse - can get very boring and lack inspiration.  Wearing basically the same professional “look” day in and day out adds a certain drudgery that can actually put a damper on your enthusiasm for getting up and going to work each day.  Creating more options and putting more life into your professional look, a look that reflects your personality and honors your unique physical features, will actually create a renewed enthusiasm for going to work each day.  You will actually be eager to get up, get dressed and go to work since you feel so good!

Dressing Your Truth is a program that helps women do just that.  By learning your Beauty Profile, what “Type” of woman you are, then learning to dress true to your Type of beauty, you have the tools to find professional clothes that honor your personal style.

Dressing Your Truth identifies four main Types of women based on their physical features, personality and psychological profiles.

Here is a brief overview of each Type, as well as common fashion mistakes and Dressing Your Truth tip specific to each.

Type 1: The bright, animated woman is naturally an upward, light, upbeat woman.  She keeps things light and fun, and tends to have a very youthful appearance.  Drew Barrymore and Rachel Ray are both Type 1.

• Common mistake: Wearing clothing that is too structured and stiff will weigh her down and make her feel/look tired.
• Dressing Your Truth tip: Wear colors that pop and fabrics that are light and crisp on the body. Add a fun necklace or cute pin on your jacket.

Type 2: The subtle, soft woman is naturally a fluid, flowing, gentle, relaxed, calming person.  She has a more subdued movement and keeps things flowing and comfortable.  She typically has a a very peaches and cream complexion. Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Alba are both Type 2.

• Common mistake: Wearing colors that are too bright and overpower her subtle, soft expression.
• Dressing Your Truth tip: Wear softer colors and more blended patterns that feel comfortable and soft on the body.

Type 3: The rich, dynamic woman is naturally given to action and results. She has a very swift, confident movement that pushes things and people into action to get it done.  She has a dominance of angles in her facial features with more texture in her skin. Mary J. Blige and Maria Shriver are both Type 3.

• Common mistake: Wearing a lot of black, which will instantly age her as black accentuates facial lines and texture.
• Dressing Your Truth tip: Choose rich, dynamic colors with textured fabrics that honor her more edgy nature.

Type 4: The bold, striking woman is naturally constant, still, precise, exact, and structured.  She naturally looks at the world with a critical eye.  She tends to have very porcelain skin and sculpted facial features.  Demi Moore and Halle Barry are both Type 4 women.

• Common mistake: Wearing grayed-down colors hoping to soften her bold nature, which only contradicts her natural expression.
• Dressing Your Truth tip: Wear bold, solid colors along with strong blacks and pure whites.

Whether dressing professionally for work or hanging out with your kids for a play day, you will not only look better Dressing Your Truth, you will feel better about who you are as a woman!

Carol Tuttle is an acclaimed alternative psychotherapist, best-selling author and 20-year pioneer in the self-help arena. Dressing Your Truth: Discover Your Personal Beauty Profile is her fourth book, and the first to apply her proven therapeutic techniques towards women’s fashion and beauty.

The Influential Leader - Guest Post by Melanie Billings-Yun

Most people see negotiation as an isolated pursuit involving buying and selling. In fact, negotiation relationships is an activity we all engage in every day—and a particularly important skill for leaders. In fact, I would argue it may be the key skill of a leader.

The job of the leader is to influence others to work together to accomplish an objective. As I have set out in Beyond Dealmaking, the job of the relationship-based negotiator is to resolve differences and find synergies so that all parties can work cooperatively to achieve mutual gain. Not very different, are they? The relationship-oriented negotiator focuses on achieving the best overall outcome, not on winning points, just as the good leader focuses on achieving the most sustainable profits for his or her organization, not short-term gains for a single division or satisfaction for a single customer.

Achieving this level of cohesion throughout the organization is no easy task. The leader must exercise influence in every direction: upward with higher management or the board of directors; laterally with clients or customers, on the one hand, and with colleagues and other division heads on the other; and, of course, downward with staff. To focus on only one of these primary relationships is to put the company at peril.

Let’s look at a few examples:

• Carly Fiorina was known to be a superb manager of people, but her neglect of her relationship with HP’s Board of Directors ultimately cost her her job.
• Toyota showed a surprisingly poor awareness of the importance of customer relations in the recent recall debacle in which apologies came late, explanations even later, and every communication appeared forced and half-hearted.
• Lehman Brothers went under the first time in 1984 because of implacable hostilities between its traders and investment bankers which ultimately created a dysfunctional internal environment.
• And we all have stories of leaders who operate on the old command and control system, who sustain their positions only through every higher payoffs.

The answer is that we need to negotiate relationships all the time in every direction. In the words of Dwight D. Eisenhower, a leader whose influencing skills earned him the very highest ranks in both the military and the civilian government, “You do not lead by hitting people over the head. Any damn fool can do that, but it’s usually called ‘assault’ – not ‘leadership.’… I’ll tell you what leadership is. It’s persuasion – and conciliation – and patience. It’s long, slow, tough work. That’s the only sort of leadership I know or believe in – or will practice.”

Melanie Billings-Yun is the author of BEYOND DEALMAKING: Five Steps to Negotiating Profitable Relationships. She is a professor at the Master of International Management program at Portland State University, founder and senior partner of Global Resolutions, and a former research director and lecturer on history at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government. Billings-Yun has spent two decades assisting Western and Asian companies, NGOs and public agencies in improving their internal and external relations through negotiation.