The Downtown Women's Club blog

Mad Men Biz Lesson Monday: Take Risks and be the Brand

Mad Men is back and this season, we're going to try to find some morning after business lessons to share. This week, we had two characters learning a few things.

Peggy Olson

1. Take risks.  When Peggy and her colleagues staged a PR stunt (having two actresses fight over a ham in a grocery store), it was a huge risk. But as a small and scrappy firm, they had to take it or some of them weren’t going to get paid (i.e. the young guy who was getting cut back to 2 days per week).  While it had its downsides (could’ve been bad exposure for the firm and in fact did cost them some hush money), the payoff was worth it.  Now, I’m not endorsing staged PR stunts, especially when they put the firm at risk, I was thrilled to see Peggy shed her nice girl persona and take the risk along with the boys.
2. Act first, ask for forgiveness later.  See above.  Sometimes you have to do it.  Although you need to be prepared to shoulder the consequences if things go awry.
3. Stand up for yourself.  Peggy took her dressing down by Don very stoically and while she apologized for going behind his back, she didn’t let him belittle her.  In fact she had one of the best lines of the night (ok, other than anything that comes out of Roger Sterling’s mouth). "Nobody knows about the ham stunt," counters Peggy, "so our image remains pretty much where you left it," an allusion to the failed interview opportunity by Don.

Don Draper

• When your name is on that wall, you are the brand.  Don tried to remain his reclusive self during a major interview opportunity – which made him look like a jerk and did nothing to promote the firm.  A classic narcissist, he had to have practically everyone in the entire firm tell him that he let them down before he took steps to fix it.  However, if he is a true narcissist, he didn’t do it for the others, he did it because he wanted to show up his ex-wife and her new husband. 

Your thoughts on last night’s episode?  Good? Bad? Any other business lessons?

*Photo from AMC

Guest Post: The Emerging Identity of Women by Marcia Reynolds

There is a new generation of women in the workplace. They grew up in the self-help era with more confidence than the women who came before them. In fact, the majority of the women at work today represent the first generation of women who were told they could accomplish anything they put their mind to.

Additionally, with the passing of Title IX in the United States in the 1970's, sports programs for girls flourished and women have now outnumbered men in college degrees. These trends can be found around the world wherever women have a chance to go to school and be active in sports. As a result, there are an increasing number of women who believe they are strong in their bodies as well as their minds. Plus, the increase in college degrees gives women more ways to be self-sufficient.

The magazine stands and self-help books do not reflect this emerging identity of women. These are not a sect of women who act like men. Today's smart, strong women have the drive like men but still have the sensitivity of women. Instead of playing it safe, they crave frequent new challenges to conquer. They love being busy and hate feeling bored. They want to be valued, respected and recognized and will work hard to deserve it. They struggle when they feel pigeon-holed, underutilized, micro-managed, slowed down, and ignored.

These women don't need to be taught assertiveness skills. They ask for what they want. Then as soon as they feel that they are being treated unfairly or with disrespect, they begin to look for another job or start planning to own their own businesses.

Many strong, smart women look at their jobs as training for when they can break out and be an entrepreneur. They don't make plans to climb one corporate ladder. Statistics that bemoan the lack of women in the boardroom do not take into account that many women are choosing another path.

The question of being a corporate executive or not is not the biggest issue on their minds. More than titles and money, they want motion and meaning. However, this desire fuels a restlessness as they constantly need to find "something more" in their lives.

Therefore, the downside is not that these women are giving up their femininity. Instead, they are giving up their peace of mind.

It is wonderful that girls are now brought up believing in their greatness. But having the goal of "being great" is as hard to define as it is to achieve. There is always "the next great thing" to master, which leaves them feeling exhausted and incomplete. I have come to call this phenomenon the "Burden of Greatness."

If you recognize the Burden in yourself, it is likely your gifts of intelligence, resourcefulness, courage and determination have also been a burden. Some days you wonder if it is all worth it. You hunger for a day of rest and long for a chance to pamper your body. You laugh when someone suggests you need life balance. The best you can do is balance your energy as you go about your busy day. You can still love your friends, your partner and your children, but you know there will always be an internal struggle about how you show your love.

There is both a light and a dark side to this emerging identity of women. It's time the books recognize this phenomenon and help these women meet their challenges while getting what they desire.

The research plus exercises for helping smart, strong women can be found in Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction, by Marcia Reynolds, PsyD. Read more at www.WanderWomanBook.com.

© 2010 Marcia Reynolds

Turn left instead of right

Change your routine to bring on the creative muse.  It doesn't have to be a big change, even something as simple as taking a different route to work can do wonders.

Writing a marketing plan was Friday's goal.  I work from home, but that wasn't going to happen.  We're having work done in our basement, so between the jack-hammering, sawing, and pounding, nothing else would be happening. 

In search of peace and quiet, I thought of the library.  To mix things up, I decided to go to a library in a different town.  All I had to do was turn left at the end of my street, instead of turning right.  Turning right would have taken me to my usual library.

I ended up at the Wellesley Library.  I'd been driving by this building for years, saying each time, "I really must check it out.  It's so nice from the outside, I can just imagine what the inside is like."

What a beautiful place! The inside is bright and airy, with large windows overlooking tree-lined parks.  There were lots of computers, but they mixed nicely with the books. 

While I was there, I wrote my marketing plan, plus two blog posts.  It took me all of 75 minutes.  If I had tried to do this at home, it would have taken me days.

All because I turned left, instread of right.

What simple changes can you do today that will bring you new results?

Nancy Loderick

How long is your pencil [skirt]?

The other week I recommended that everyone should have a pencil skirt as one of the basic staples of their business wardrobe. They are professional and flattering for most body types (think Christina Hendricks from Mad Men) and they go with everything from an oxford shirt, to a suit coat or belted cardigan.  However, this week I received some questions about what is the appropriate length? 

For me, a true pencil skirt is narrow all the way to the knees or just below, like this vintage 1940s Christian Dior skirt. (Ohhhhh  ... this brings back memories of my favorite Dior navy blue pencil skirt suit with a Jackie O type collar. I loved that suit.  I thought I was simply the height of glamour.) Image courtesy of www.Twolia.com.

The "point" of the pencil skirt is to slim the hips and elongate the legs.  In other words, hide the saddlebags and the yucky fleshy part above the knees.  Yet, what did we see predicted for Spring 2010 fashion? The micro mini is back!  Ugh. Let's hope not. Hem lengths are actually something I never really thought about back in the 90s during the last micro-mini era, thanks to Ally McBeal  mini-suit mania. I'm horrified to think of how short some of our skirts were back then.

Fortunately, I realized that micro-miniskirts in the office weren't exactly fitting with my VP title (or the fact that I was now in my 30s).  However, I didn't totally lose my love of short skirts.  Well, at least not until I hit my 40s. 

I will confess to having had a brief 40-year old rebellion (you know - if "60 is the new 40," then "40 is the new 20") where I continued with the short skirts. Then one day I woke up, put on a short skirt (i.e. 3-4" above the knee), and despite my husband's protests, decided ... nope. Not me.  Especially not at the office.  And, even outside the office, I find myself now relegating them to beach days.

It's not that my legs suddenly looked different (I'm fortunate in that department), but it just felt like I was trying too hard or something.  So, while I applaud Tina Turner and Heidi Klum who look fabulous in their minis (and get to wear them to work), the only mini I see in my future will have a "cooper" after it.

So, for those of us who want to hide our knees, or just feel funny showing that much leg in a professional capacity, stick with pencil skirts that hit an inch or two below the knee (the classic), or right at the knees.  Here's a fabulous one by MissSixty, featured on the Fashion Beans blog.  

Note that you do need to wear heels with pencil skirts because they cut you off at the knees and you want your legs to look long. So if you are on the shorter side, wear a traditional pump for an elongating effect.

For those of you who are comfortable showing off your knees at any age (and yes, I know some glamorous women in their 50s and 60s who could pull this one off), here's one from Ann Taylor that hits above the knee but is still professional.  If this still seems a bit short, pair it with black tights and Mary Janes or T-straps as pictured below!

Of course my favorite look for pencil skirts are tights and boots (but alas, the only thing I don't like about spring and summer is packing away my fabulous boot collection).

For our younger readers: you can get away with a shorter skirt like this one from Banana Republic, (which is technically an A-line and not a pencil) but as you climb the corporate ladder,you might want to drop your hem lines.  (I'm not so sure my Ally McBeal minis were a career helper.)  Perhaps pair them with flats on casual day. Please note: if it's shorter than this ... it's too short for the office.

Now what do you do if, like me, you wake up one day and find all your skirts are just a smidgen too short for your liking?  I've actually had a seamstress add a ruffle, a bit of lace and/or some ribbon to the hems of too-short skirts to get me an extra inch or two!  And, wouldn't you know it, check out this pencil skirt from Ann Taylor where it looks like they did the exact same thing!

So, tell us ... what's your favorite color, material (this winter I've been loving my tweed and hounds-tooth ones), length and way to wear a pencil skirt professionally?

Diane K. Danielson is the founder of the Downtown Women's Club business network and the author of The Savvy Gal's Guide to Online Networking (or What Would Jane Austen Do)?  For more about Diane, visit http://www.dianedanielson.com.

One person’s terrible advice is another person’s opinion

Penelope Trunk is not one to shy away from bold statements and proclamations.  I admire her for that.  It doesn't mean I agree with her, but I appreciate folks who view things from different angles.  This time Trunk is under fire for her post where she lists the following three pieces of “Terrible Advice Women Give Each Other.”

1) You can wait to have kids. There’s no rush. I agree with Trunk on this one. Waiting doesn't always work out.  There is no good time to have a baby (as someone who gave birth in the middle of a divorce, job change and move ... trust me on this one).  Rather than waiting, focus on grabbing what you can get (titles, raises, skills, powerful networks, advice) before you have to start substituting ginger ale for chardonnay at business functions AND then work at not letting it all go to waste no matter whether your maternity leave is 6 days, 6 weeks or 6 years.

2) Report sexual harassment, even if it’s just a minor infraction.  Qualified agreement with Trunk's belief that we shouldn't report minor infractions.  Yes, in an ideal world, we could report it, the perpetrator would be reprimanded and the workplace would improve.  But, it’s not an ideal world, so you have to consider the consequences. I've been in a situation where I might have had a claim.  Would I have ever worked in my town again?  Probably not.  Would other women have benefited? Not likely. Was it satisfying to move on and watch as that firm struggled? Definitely. Did I help more women by moving to a company that supported the founding of the Downtown Women's Club? Oh yeah. 

With regard to Trunk’s second point about there no longer being a wage gap.  Totally disagree with her on that one.  The media often takes one woman’s success (or one area where women have had success) and declares that it represents equality for all women.

3) Read business books to become a good leader. As someone who reviews business books for Entrepreneur magazine, I totally disagree with Trunk saying this is bad advice.  Trunk's claim is that leadership books are written from the male point of view and women are better off without them.  Command and control leadership is still the prevalent leadership structure in the US and I'm a huge advocate of women knowing what they are up against.  This is why I like the somewhat controversial book, What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook by Christopher Flett.

While I don't necessarily agree with Trunk, I also don't agree with Trunk’s critics who think it’s wrong to point out that women can give each other terrible advice.  Bad advice happens.  Women have a lot of cultural issues to overcome, and we don’t always give the best advice.  In fact here is my own “Top 10 list of terrible advice I’ve heard women give other women.”

1. Always keep the house in the divorce.  Nothing like tying yourself to a white elephant in a down market.
2. Prenups are not a good way to start a marriage.  Would you rather fight about what you came into the marriage with while in the midst of the hurt and turmoil of divorce?  Not a good plan.  Esp. as many women are now coming with more assets (i.e. your business!) than the men.  Or you may want to protect your children from an earlier marriage.
3. Retail therapy works.  How's that designer wardrobe helping you during this recession?
4. You don't need a financial adviser unless you have over $100,000 in savings.  The folks who really need help are those who DON'T have at least $100,000 in savings.
5. You’re a bad parent if you prioritize work.  Look, full-time parenting isn’t an option or a preference for everyone.  Face-time is not the best way to judge parents or employees. 
6. Keep your work and personal lives separate.  Compartmentalizing isn't healthy or good for your career or personal relationships. You never know who can help you.
7. Don't network at baby showers, weddings, school events, etc.  I'm neither a baby person nor a romantic, what the heck else would I do there besides network (although it might not always be about business).
8. Don't ask for what you want as you might sound pushy.  What's the better approach? Wait for someone to do you a favor?  Good luck with that.
9. We had to fight to be treated equally in the office, so you should, too.  This one has always irked me because how is there ever going to be forward progress if you want women to repeat the same battles? 
10. It's ok to put off networking until you really need it.  Why?  Because your company, job and/or life as you know it will never disappear when you least expect it?  As I said before, good luck with that.

So, what's the worst advice another woman ever gave you?

The Influential Leader - Guest Post by Melanie Billings-Yun

Most people see negotiation as an isolated pursuit involving buying and selling. In fact, negotiation relationships is an activity we all engage in every day—and a particularly important skill for leaders. In fact, I would argue it may be the key skill of a leader.

The job of the leader is to influence others to work together to accomplish an objective. As I have set out in Beyond Dealmaking, the job of the relationship-based negotiator is to resolve differences and find synergies so that all parties can work cooperatively to achieve mutual gain. Not very different, are they? The relationship-oriented negotiator focuses on achieving the best overall outcome, not on winning points, just as the good leader focuses on achieving the most sustainable profits for his or her organization, not short-term gains for a single division or satisfaction for a single customer.

Achieving this level of cohesion throughout the organization is no easy task. The leader must exercise influence in every direction: upward with higher management or the board of directors; laterally with clients or customers, on the one hand, and with colleagues and other division heads on the other; and, of course, downward with staff. To focus on only one of these primary relationships is to put the company at peril.

Let’s look at a few examples:

• Carly Fiorina was known to be a superb manager of people, but her neglect of her relationship with HP’s Board of Directors ultimately cost her her job.
• Toyota showed a surprisingly poor awareness of the importance of customer relations in the recent recall debacle in which apologies came late, explanations even later, and every communication appeared forced and half-hearted.
• Lehman Brothers went under the first time in 1984 because of implacable hostilities between its traders and investment bankers which ultimately created a dysfunctional internal environment.
• And we all have stories of leaders who operate on the old command and control system, who sustain their positions only through every higher payoffs.

The answer is that we need to negotiate relationships all the time in every direction. In the words of Dwight D. Eisenhower, a leader whose influencing skills earned him the very highest ranks in both the military and the civilian government, “You do not lead by hitting people over the head. Any damn fool can do that, but it’s usually called ‘assault’ – not ‘leadership.’… I’ll tell you what leadership is. It’s persuasion – and conciliation – and patience. It’s long, slow, tough work. That’s the only sort of leadership I know or believe in – or will practice.”

Melanie Billings-Yun is the author of BEYOND DEALMAKING: Five Steps to Negotiating Profitable Relationships. She is a professor at the Master of International Management program at Portland State University, founder and senior partner of Global Resolutions, and a former research director and lecturer on history at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government. Billings-Yun has spent two decades assisting Western and Asian companies, NGOs and public agencies in improving their internal and external relations through negotiation.

6 Deadly Sins of Business Development

Last month the Downtown Women's Club had the first of six teleclasses we're running in partnership with Fiona Walsh of GhostCEO.  Fiona gave us an overview of six ways that we make business development difficult. 

• The "Double Dutch" delay.  If you remember the jump rope game of double dutch (where you have two ropes going in the opposite directions), you'll remember that there are two types of kids:  (1) those who hesitate and wait ... and wait ... and wait ...until the perfect time to jump in - and recess ends before they can even give it a try; and (2) those who jump right in regardless of whether they know what they are doing or not.  Fiona suggests that it's best to take the latter approach when it comes to business development as we are "better off making a bad decision and learning from a mistake than not doing anything at all."
• Making external excuses. 
• Flying solo.
• Having marketing ADD.
• Not planning.
• Not asking for what you want.

For more details about these 6 deadly sins, DWC+ members can download this and other past teleclasses for free via our DWC+ Teleclass library.  Not a DWC+ member?  Join today for only $49/year and attend our future teleclasses as well as download and listen to over 50+ teleclasses valued at over ($1,500) at your convenience.

Upcoming Teleclasses:

• Building Your Professional Value with Fiona Walsh (4/15)
• What I Know about Success: Letters from Extraordinary Women to Their Younger Selves with Ellyn Spragins (4/29).

 

How health care reform and the iPad could affect our careers

There are two big changes rocking our world right now - health care reform and the iPad - and they may have some long-term effects on how we think about our careers.  The former reshapes how many of us think about "jobs" and the latter reshapes how we may be going about performing these jobs.  Here are four career trends I expect to see as a result of these new changes.

• Multiple and simultaneous career paths  With health care no longer tied to full-time employment, we'll be seeing more people juggling several part-time jobs and exploring multiple revenue sources. This will be the new "flexible" employment. Marci Alboher coined the term "slash careers" back in 2007 with her book, One Person/Multiple Careers and I expect to see many more two-sided business cards as we move forward. The 2010 twist?  People will have multiple careers at the same time, not over time.

• Health care consultants who focus on the individuals.  Normally when we think of health care consultants, we assume they advise organizations.  When we have consumers able to make choices, there will be a need for customization and advice.  How this will develop is unclear - will there be agents (as with other "insurance" products)?  Or affiliates? Or something totally new .. like an App ... which brings us to the next two points.

• Search as a skill. With the entire globe populating the Internet with information, valuable employees will not just be those who can communicate, but those who can "seek."  Being a "seeker" doesn't mean riding brooms and playing Quidditch with Harry Potter but being able to find quality information quickly.  A seeker will be able to discern what is a real review v. a rant.  A seeker will be able to look beyond the obvious answers (i.e. those that appear on the first page of a Google search) to find the right ones.

• Content curation.  With no filter on the Internet, those who add value will be the ones who can "curate content."  It's not just enough to "publish" something online. First you have to be found (per the paragraph above), then you need to curate, or have someone curate your information. Curation is the reason most online magazine attempts don't work.  When we pick up a magazine, we don't expect to read all the articles in an issue because some don't interest us and we know we don't control that.  However, online, we don't want to even see the articles that don't interest us, we want customizable, i.e. curated content. 

The Sports Illustrated iPad example is a fascinating attempt to transfer a magazine online via the iPad, but I'm not sure if it would work for me.  If I want to read about the Washington Capitals, I don't just want SI's take on it.  I want to read what's going on in real time via Twitter, highlights via YouTube, what Ovechkin is saying or doing, and insights from the most knowledgeable people about the Caps, professional writers and fans. 

In other words, I want content curated around my interests.  Case in point?  HuffPo's coverage of health care reform.  They include real time (Twitter) with content from other sources, both video and print (Daily Show, Bill Maher, AP, New York times, etc.), editorials by politicians and experts, all grouped around a topic.  Yes, it does have a political bias, but for me that was the slant I personally preferred.

Do you see any more trends coming out of these two recent innovations?  Please share them below.

Diane K. Danielson is the founder of the Downtown Women's Club.  For more about Diane, visit http://www.dianedanielson.com.

What businesswomen can learn from Mommy Bloggers

While writing up my recent blunt thoughts on women and networking, I realized I misspoke about how women aren't leveraging the power of social media to make change.  I need to correct my statement to say "businesswomen and female politicians are not using social networks to their economic and/or political advantage." Why?  Because there ARE women out there making money, building followings and even forcing corporations to change.  These women are often called "Mommy Bloggers" or "Work at Home Moms" and I want to salute them. 

As many of you know, I've spent the past 7 years trying to get businesswomen to embrace the power of the internet and social networks. I started blogging for the career pages of the Boston Globe back in 2003 because I felt women were underrepresented.  I built the first social network for businesswomen back in 2005 to give women a competitive edge.  Unfortunately, it was an "if you build it they will come" moment that didn't happen. 

So, I dumbed things down -- our social network became a member directory -- and I backtracked and did a little research ... only to find that businesswomen in 2006 had little interest in learning anything new about technology.  Had I done the research first I probably would've shut down the Downtown Women's Club right then and there. And perhaps I should have.

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it), I had the infrastructure and no choice but to spend the next 5 years trying to get businesswomen to understand that if anything was going to allow them to shatter that glass ceiling it would be the internet.  Nothing this disruptive had hit corporate America until the current recession, and the powerful combination of the two means that those who capitalize on rather than fight against change would be the true success stories. 

What to do?  After the 2006 survey, I tried going old school and wrote a "how to online network" book invoking Jane Austen. My apologies to all the JA purists who were appalled, but I will do anything to get businesswomen to learn about the internet.  I'm still devising ways to force our members to engage in social media (look for our weekend book club coming soon to our DWC Facebook page). But, perhaps I've been focused on the wrong group of women.

There is a group of women who "get it."  These are the "Mommy Bloggers."  I realize that many of them don't like that term as it has been used condescendingly, i.e. the recent New York Times article, "Honey, Don't Bother Mommy. I'm Too Busy Building My Brand."  I confess, I didn't read that article as necessarily condescending because it showed women doing something to improve their skills professionally and leverage the clout that comes with it.  In other words, everything I've ever wanted for businesswomen.  Seems Lisa Belkin over at the New York Times also agrees with me on that.  So, if I use the term Mommy Blogger, I use it as a compliment.

Why am I praising Mommy Bloggers today?

• They have a collective voice and are not afraid to use it to tackle corporations (i.e. the Motrin Moms who got Motrin to stop running an ad that they found condescending). Imagine if that clout was used to demand they promote more women into higher management? Or to elect more female politicians?
• They've built a powerful network.  The Mommy Bloggers seem to be more about supporting each other than competing against each other.
• They've convinced corporate America that women are an important voice when it comes to kids and products aimed at their demographic.  Now we have women giving opinions from the outside, perhaps they can help us get more women on the inside.
• They've developed their own flexible employment. Yes, these women are building their brands around the fact that they are parents.  But, at the same time they are selling ad space and products via blogs and affiliate programs.
• They are learning marketable skills.  Sure they are not making the huge salaries, but they are developing skills beyond what traditional unemployment outplacement services are offering.  Technology, blogging, web design, video editing, marketing, communications, pr, advertising, writing, journalism... Yep.  They're doing it all and learning it all.
• They are making the world a better place.  The transparency they are bringing to child care and product safety and the rapid dissemination of information is a huge benefit for all.  They are not making decisions based on shareholder value, but on their own personal values. 

So for this  ... I salute the Mommy Bloggers.  You have achieved what I still strive to do for businesswomen.

The irony here? From the outset one of the non-negotiables of the Downtown Women's Club was that it be inviting and open to women who have been out of the workforce and needed to build their professional skills and network. Now, I'm hoping that more Mommy Bloggers will check out the Downtown Women's Club and teach our members the professional and networking skills that they've learned all on their own.

Diane K. Danielson is the founder of the Downtown Women's Club. For more about Diane, visit www.DianeDanielson.com.

Some blunt thoughts about women and networking

Because sometimes it just has to be said:

The UK TimesOnline recently ran an article titled "Why women are such bad networkers."  It actually wasn't a bad article, but I disagreed with the main premise that women are bad networkers.  I think women are terrific networkers.  However, most women are bad at using their networking skills for business and/or leveraging their networks.  More thoughts on the article:

• Why does an article about women and business run in the "home" section under "life and style"?
• I liked the section on social media.  Ladies there is no virtual glass ceiling in social media.  In fact, we outnumber the men in social media; yet, we don't leverage this ... as the article accurately points out. 
• Favorite quote from the article: Liz Cable, a social media expert, says: “I think when women hear the phrase ‘social network’, they hear social. Men hear network.”

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As the founder of a women's network, frankly I'm bored with trying to convince women that they need to prioritize networking.  With the state of the economy, if you are sitting home worried about your career prospects or job hunt and are NOT out networking either in person or online, then good luck with that.  I'm not going to waste any more time trying to cajole you to build a safety net for your career.  I built you a network with the help of dozens of amazing local directors and advisors and thousands of members who already "get it." 

It's your choice whether or not you participate in the Downtown Women's Club or any of the other thousands of networks that are out there. It's 2010, the economy is in the toilet and likely to stay there for a while longer. If you are still investing in your closet and not your career that's your problem, not mine.

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If you think the lack of women in congress is unrelated to the lack of women in business, think again. We will not see equal representation in the boardroom until we see equal representation in our government.  Ladies:

1. It's easier to run for office than it is to get on a public board.
2. We don't get to vote on board members, but all get to vote for public office.
3. The more female candidates running for office, the less we will be stigmatized for voting our gender.
4. You want good networking and access to VIPs?  Open your checkbook.  You can get a seat at any VIP dinner table you want at a political fundraiser.  They don't care what gender you are if you write that check.  Even if you can't afford the big time fundraisers - there are always cheaper tickets and ways to volunteer.

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Finally, on a positive note. I've noticed a bit of the generation gap breaking down.  I first wrote about the Generation Slap back in 2007 for Pink Magazine.  The slap being that Gen X and Y women felt that Boomers were slamming the doors behind them and refusing to mentor them; and Boomer women felt that Gen X and Y women had it too easy and were too entitled. Well, nothing like a bad recession to bring us all together.  I'm also seeing the line blurring between "stay at home moms", "work at home moms" and "work out of home moms".  Everyone is facing the same issues.  Now if we could only get our acts totally together and leverage our collective power, I bet we could accomplish a whole lot.