The Downtown Women's Club womensDISH blog

Entrepreneurship: Do you have the spirit? Guest Post by Nicole Williams

Nicole Williams is the author of Girl on Top: You Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success, and provides us with three things you need to be a successful entrepreneur.

To go it alone or not to go it alone? That is the question. Actually the real question is: Are entrepreneurs born or made?  This one has been making the rounds for years and there are no definitive answers.  I grew up with a father who’s an entrepreneur so I’m not entirely sure what I was born with and what trickled down from watching him bust his ass, but I’m going to guess there’s more born than made. If you’re not able to grasp (or able to grow into) what I’m talking about below, you’re asking for trouble.  

• The belief that rules are written for other people:  I was speaking at a television industry conference and before everyone was let into the room, I listened to a guy tell us how hard it is to sell a TV show, “the chances are one in a million”.  After sharing my story of selling 13 episodes of a show concept upon first pitch, the guy came up to me and asked how it happened.  I didn’t say it aloud, but in my mind I’m thinking…because I’m not you…or the 999,999 others out pitching their show.  

It may sound egotistical (and maybe it is) but to be an entrepreneur you need to believe that the odds, the statistics and the rules don’t apply to you. Nine out of ten start-up businesses fail in the first five years. You’d be screwed walking into this reality not believing you’ll be the one who will defy the odds. This rules-are-for-others concept is also essential from the perspective of looking for new ways of doing things. The name of the game is innovation and some of the best businesses have been built around taking a tried-and-true idea or rule and turning it on its ass. Are rules for you or not?   

• A sense of fearlessness:   Leaving the comfort of the warm, comfortable cocoon of ‘the man’ is not for the faint of heart. As I actually think about it here, it’s not that as an entrepreneur you don’t feel fear – you do – but you become not only immune to it, you learn to actually thrive off it. If your idea of being out on the limb is ordering pork rather than chicken, you’re in for a rude awakening. To put your name, money, reputation on the line is a big, fat, exhilarating deal. You’re going to be scared, and the question you need to ask yourself repeatedly is: Can you handle it? I’ve met a lot of failed business owners and one thing that most have in common is that they become paralyzed in the face of the fear.  

• A refusal to lose:   I’m not just saying this for the sake of bravado and it’s not that I don’t question myself or want to give up, but at the end of the day I know I will not let myself lose. There’s a certain kind of stubbornness that comes with entrepreneurship. On the outside it might look like you’re crazy to be holding on for dear life when other sane, rational people would have walked away. As an entrepreneur you have to be willing to fail (trust me, you will make mistakes—embarrassing ones) but you can’t let yourself lose – huge difference. One of my very favorite business books is called Many Miles to Go by Brian Tracy. His message is one of perseverance and dedication and I use it as a constant reminder that the greater your vision, the longer it will take to build.  

For more about Nicole, visit: http://www.nicolewilliams.com/.

Networking etiquette

It's a new year and time for a new start.  Perhaps you're looking for a new job or perhaps you want to be meeting more people.  Building relationships through networking is a great way to achieve those goals.  

I thought these tips were obvious but recent experiences have proven otherwise.  I'm always happy to help others, but some actions have me shaking my head.

Here are my tips for networking etiquette.

1.  Say thank you.

Say it at the end of the meeting and then follow-up with an email.  Send the email as soon as you can after the meeting.  Sure you're busy, but the other person took time out of their busy day to help you.  It's the least you can do.

2.  Pay for the other person's coffee or meal.

If you're out of work and money is tight, offer to meet for coffee, rather than a meal.  Surely the $3.00 you spend on the coffee is worth it.

3.  Be on time.

If you're running late, call to let the person know.  People are busy, so respect their time.

4.  Come prepared.

What is your goal for the meeting?  Is it to get job advice?  A resume critique?  Contact names? Clearly articulate your goal at the start of the meeting.

5.  Confirm the meeting date and time.

This is especially important if you set up the meeting a few weeks prior.

6.  Ask what you can do for the other person.

Networking is about developing relationships, which means give and take.  You may be surprised at how you can help the other person.

7.  Follow-up after the meeting.

Let the  person know what happened with the advice he gave.  For example, did you have a meeting with a contact they suggested?  Did you research that company they offered?

This is also a great way to keep your name fresh in the other person's mind.  They may just have learned of a job opening that is perfect for you and if they see your email, they'll be prompted to send it to you.

What will happen if these tips aren't followed? For me, I would be very reluctant to offer introductions to any of my contacts.  I would also not recommend them for any job openings that cross my desk.

Networking can be nerve-wracking and we all have off days.  It's not about being perfect, but about being thankful and respectful.

What other tips do you have for networking etiquette?

Nancy Loderick

Email address discrimination?

A few of my favorite marketing and social media pals were twittering about a good lifehacker.com article re: how your email address affects your personal brand.

• The username you select is vastly more important than the provider you use. Firstname.lastname@aol.com is preferred to and more respectable than sexkitten2010@aol.com—cutesy, offensive, or unprofessional nicknames are big mistakes.
• Domains are important, especially in technology-related fields. An AOL address might be just as serviceable as any other address when it comes to sending and receiving mail but to most people in tech fields it says "Hi. I'm from 1996. What is this internet you speak of?"
• More concerning than people using inappropriate emails handles on their resumes? Businesses that don't have their own domain and personalized email. SomeCompany@sbcglobal.net or SomeDude2049@yahoo.com were huge turn offs to readers and many expressed that they would question the professionalism of a company with such an unpolished image and do business elsewhere.

Click here to read the full article.

This is something we covered in The Savvy Gal's Guide to Online Networking (or What Would Jane Austen Do?) and I would add one factor the article didn't discuss with regard to using an AOL address: it could lead to subtle age discrimination, especially for job-seekers.  Using an AOL address sets off flags that not only does the person have minimal technology skills, they are likely a BabyBoomer requiring extra training in technology, especially if the HR person receiving your information is under 40.  

Yes, it is a hassle to switch over to something new and I'm personally not a huge fan of gmail (but I use it).  However, I recommend that job hunters do the same to put yourself on equal footing. We all know it's a tough job market out there, so don't put yourself out of the running with your "from" line.

How to conquer negative thoughts

A new year and a new start. What is holding us back from changing those things we want to change?  Is it fear?  Is it self-doubt?

We all have those negative voices in our head saying:

• you can't do this
• why are you even bothering
• you don't deserve this.

 And the list goes on and on. These voices get particularly loud when we're trying something new or trying to change.

 To conquer those negative thoughts, try the following:

1.  Acknowledge the thought and move on to another, more positive thought. You can even say the positive thought out loud.

2.  Do NOT get lost in the storyline and try to rationalize what you're doing.  Distract yourself with a different thought.

3.  Focus on your breathing.  Take some deep breaths in and out.  Keep thinking about your breathing.  This is especially helpful if you wake up in the middle of the night with the negative thoughts.

The negative thoughts don't go away completely, they may pop up now and again.  Each time they come back, practice acknowledging them and then moving on.  It will get easier with time.

Nancy Loderick

How introverts can gain visibility and assert themselves

We all need credibility and visibility, whether you're employed or actively searching for work.  Introverts have a particularly challenging time getting visibility. Webinars or speaking engagements fill them with dread.  Never fear, there are other ways introverts can showcase their skills.  You can even have fun in the process!

Here are a few ways introverts can gain visibility:

1.  Actively participate in an professional organization related to your industry.

Join a committee and show them what you can do.   You'll be expanding your network, learning something new and showing people firsthand what you can do.

Currently, I'm on the SEMPO Boston Advisory Board.  SEMPO Boston Working Group is the Search Engine Marketing Industry's source for education, community, and networking in the Massachusetts area.  It's a great way to learn more about Search Engine Marketing as well as work closely with industry leaders. 

2.  Comment on blogs.  Offer to be a guest blogger for a blog you like. 

You can showcase your knowledge and gain visibility.  You'll have an incentive to keep up with the latest trends in your industry.

The Downtown Women's Club blog is a great place to do this.  I've started my own blog on technology.  As a guest blogger for a new company, 4GoodMedia.  I'll be writing about marketing trends.  

3.  Ask questions or answer questions on LinkedIn Q & A.

By asking well-thought out questions, or answering questions in your expertise, you can demonstrate your expertise. 

A year or so ago, I posed a question on LinkedIn about what laptop to buy.  I learned a lot, and made some new connections in the process. These connections are now part of my virtual tech team and I frequently pick their brains on technical issues.

The naysayers argue that by volunteering like this, people will take advantage of you.  To avoid this and to gain practice being assertive, here are a few suggestions to help your case:

1.  Be very clear on what you're willing to do.

Offer what you can do in a positive light.  Let's say you're asked to handle all the marketing for an event and this isn't something you're willing to do.  You can turn this around by saying, "I'd love to help market the event and here's how I can do that."  This will be better received than, "No, I can't possibly do all the marketing tasks and here are all the reasons why I can't."

2.  Set time limits on your efforts.

Offer to spend a set amount of time per month on a task.  Or, be very specific on what you're willing to do. For example, as a guest blogger, offer to do 1 or 2 blog posts per month.  If you don't speak up, the other party may assume you'll be posting a lot more often.

It's never easy for an introvert to be assertive, but by taking these small steps, you can build your confidence.  The more you practice, the easier being assertive will become.  You may even find that you enjoy the give and take!

Nancy Loderick

The Visibility Problem for Female CEOs

Just read an interesting article about the problem of visibility and female CEOs.  The Harvard Business Review blog brought up some good points, some of which counter what I thought was conventional wisdom, i.e. that women are only asked to lead companies that are already in trouble. The authors found this not to be the case.

On the other hand, they found a trend that most female CEOs come from outside the company and that stock prices dropped after announcements of new female CEOs but not after announcing a new male CEO.  While the article didn't make a direct connection to the root cause of these issues, they did allude to the fact that the media could be playing a part in it:

Nancy McKinstry, CEO of Wolters Kluwer, a Dutch publishing and information company, recalled holding a strategy meeting in which the press in Holland wrote that she wore a suit that was the same color as the KLM flight attendants'. As she told the New York Times recently, "Here we were talking about the plans for the business and that's what they focused on."

When you add that to the recent Forbes commentary about how women need to stop dressing sexy, it makes you wonder whether the subtle bias/influence of the media might have more of an impact than one would think on our perception of leadership. 

How to Make a "To Do" List

I know there are experts out there who say you shouldn't make a "to do" list because it will just make you feel bad, especially if there are a lot of items that will never get done.  However, I could not live without a "to do" list.  For me it's a great organizational tool.  My tips:

1.  Be specific.  Don't put huge general statements on there like "exercise more" "write a book" or "create new organizational system for office contacts."  Instead, break it down into action steps.  For example, "sign up for gym before new discount code expires on 1/15" or "write one chapter by end of January" or "purchase new invoicing software that coordinates with my CRM software."

2.  Include the easy stuff.  Even if it would take almost as long to do the actually "to do" item, as opposed to writing it down ... the uplift you get from crossing it off can do wonders for your psyche.

3.  Categorize.  Put all the phone calls together and then knock them out in an hour.  Put all the accounting/finance type work or website updates together and set aside time to do them all in one big session.

4.  Prioritize.  If you set your goals for 2010, prioritize the "to do's" that help you meet those goals. For more on goal setting click here to read a post by womensDISH blogger, Chrissy Herron.

5. Delegate.  Chances are the items that stay on that "to do" list forever are because you either really dislike them, or they are something you aren't really good at.  See if you can delegate these. It might be worth any associated costs.

6.  Put deadlines.  Add a date by which they need to get done.  It'll help you prioritize!

7.  Break bigger projects down into steps.  Then you can cross off the steps and feel like you are making progress.

There are apps for iphones and ways to do this online, but I still find good old paper and pencil work well for me.  I also find that I make these lists when I have some downtime between meetings or on a subway ride.(that's where the iphone apps could come in handy)  It helps me stay on top of things and lessen the possibility of things slipping through the cracks.  Anyone have other tips?

Men Don't Promote Women Because They Dress Too Sexy?

Just finished reading this article on Forbes.com by Shaun Rein about Why Men Don't Promote Women.  The author gives women two tips to help change this.  First, ask for the promotion.  Second, stop dressing sexy.  Now, I was on board with his first tip, despite the fact that this wasn't exactly new or groundbreaking information.  But, when I got to tip #2, it was jarring:

Second, women should not use overt sexuality to get ahead. Occasional mild flirting may have its place, but to be taken seriously, focus on business. Look professional and attractive but not sexy. The same goes for men. Guys who dress too flashily likewise aren't taken seriously--except in the entertainment world.

Looks do matter in the business world, as Laura Sinberg recently wrote for Forbes. But you want to be remembered for your business ability, not for how you look in a short skirt. The latter hardly gets you taken seriously as a business executive.

Hmmm.  So that's what we've been doing wrong all these years - wearing bustiers, stilettos, and fishnet hose with our cleavage and thigh-baring outfits in hopes that will convince men to promote us.   Thanks for clearing that up Mr. Rein.  I'm not sure what goes on in China where you apparently live, or if you are confused and think Mad Men is an accurate depiction of a modern day office in the US; but I'm pretty sure that when it comes to the reasons why women don't get promotions - dressing or acting sexy is certainly not in the top two.

Yes, I will grant you that there are some employees who don't dress professionally in the office.  However, these are not generally the ones seeking promotions.  So, maybe there might be some statistics there that support your theory that women who act sexy don't get promotions, but are those individuals likely to be reading Forbes?

  

Notes from the Massachusetts Women's Conference

I popped into the Massachusetts Women's Conference last week to reconnect with some friends and help out with their Mentor Matchup program.  Below are some random notes I had jotted down during the day in case you didn't attend.

Pleasant surprise of the day: Marcus Buckingham (twitter: http://twitter.com/mwbuckingham), author of Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently.  Never heard of the guy, but, then again, I never watch Oprah.  Not only was he engaging with his lovely accent and funny stories, he brought up the biggest takeaway point for the day for me:  

When children are told they are good at something and not so good at other things, they tend to pursue with enthusiasm all the things that they are good at and ignore the rest.  Grownups, on the other hand, and women especially, focus all their energy on fixing what they are not so good at (i.e., their weaknesses) and do not focus on their strengths.  This could be a major reason why women are getting less and less happy.

Hmmmm.  This certainly explains why women's magazines exist.  (For more on that, click here).  So, for 2010, how about we all have a little less focus on fixing our weaknesses and more on improving our strengths? 

Best speakers: 

• Trudy Sullivan, CEO of Talbot's.  She tells it like it is, and was not apologetic for earlier failures, or for dedicating herself to her career despite having children. (Prioritizing work is something we've been blogging about here at the WomensDISH.)
• Trish McEvoy, Founder, Trish McEvoy Cosmetics.  The story that stayed with me was how she wanted to get into makeup so she went to work in a corner drug store.  The point she made was that you can learn no matter where you are and it sounded like some of the lessons she learned at the very bottom of the ladder were helpful all the way up to the top.
• Kate White, Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan Magazine, author.  Kate added a touch of glamour, yet was incredibly down to earth.  Despite my disdain for women's magazines, she's one panelist who, if I was 10 years younger, I'd be saying to myself "I want to be her!"
• Candy O'Terry, co-host, Magic 106.7's "Exceptional Women".  Fabulous moderator. She injected her own stories and really brought the panel to life.  
• Tory Johnson, CEO, Women for Hire.  Tory started off the morning with high energy and a very candid and engaging talk.  While I know Tory's story, I think it was eye-opening for the women (and a few men) in the room to hear someone openly talk about being unexpectedly fired.

Yes, you'll note that I didn't include Suze Ormond on this list.  I agree that Suze is an entertaining speaker and has her following.  But I reviewed one of her books a few years ago and her talk is pretty much verbatim.  Yes, you can learn a little "chutzpah" from her and I'm sure that was good for folks to hear.  However, when it comes to Suze's content, my take on it is if you didn't know any of the basics that she talks about before you walked into that room, then:

1. I'm worried for your ability to handle any job that has fiscal or budgetary responsibility.
2. I'm wondering if educational reform should include a basic finance 101 class as a high school requirement; and
3. Well, I suppose that would pretty much explain the state of things today.

In other words, while I think a LOT of people need to learn what she's teaching, I felt it wasn't geared to anyone at a manager level or above sitting in the audience. Personally, if I was to attend a conference for my own business purposes (as opposed to hanging out with friends and lending my expertise to the mentor matchup) I would've rather heard about the "business" of running "Suze Orman enterprises" rather than "don't run up credit card debt."

One other off-note for the day - politics:  They had two speakers representing the "political spectrum," and I don't mean to disrespect them because I applaud their being involved in a Women's Conference, but they were both "wives of". I found it odd that they didn't have US Senate candidate Martha Coakley there (for all I know it might've been a scheduling issue on the Coakley campaign part).  Anyhow, I would've rather heard from ANY female candidate who ran and won an election even if it was at a lower profile level because as you all probably know, I've been on my soapbox for the past week about how women cannot be taken seriously in business if they continue to be absent from politics.

The buzz words that I heard over and over from speakers/friends:

• Start networking
• Keep learning.
• Take action.
• Be creative.
• Be focused.
• Drop the guilt & self-doubt.

The people who probably got the most out of the conference were the participants in the Mentor Matchup program.  I'm not writing this because I personally was involved (along with some of my superstar pals who would be nearly impossible to get 20 minutes of their time in a regular setting). I'm writing this because participants got to sit down with "mentors" and ask them a particular question and get 20 minutes of undivided attention, advice and focused brainstorming. I fielded questions from job hunting,  to breaking through to management to opting back into the workforce and creating a marketing plan for 2010; the industries were IT, finance, non-profit, health care, photography and pharmaceutical.

Simply by participating in the Mentor Matchup, those individuals pretty much hit all the buzz words above.

Downtown Women's Club premium members have an opportunity to do something similar to the Mentor Matchup via our DWC+ LinkedIn Group and DWC+ Teleclasses (exclusively limited to DWC+ Paid Members).  Many of our teleclass instructors are open to hearing from participants both during and after the teleclass.  On LinkedIn, I personally respond to most questions that are posed on our LinkedIn Group provided they are "need mentoring" type questions.  And, those are also the ones that yield the most responses (read = networking opportunities) from our entire LinkedIn Group.  So, there you go - an easy way to get started making 2010 your best year yet, and you don't even have to leave your office and go to a conference.

Diane K. Danielson is the founder of the Downtown Women's Club and the author of The Downtown Women's Club Beginner's Guide to Facebook and co-author of The Savvy Gal's Guide to Online Networking (or What Would Jane Austen Do?).

Happy People are Productive People: 3 Tips for Maximizing Workplace Performance

This month's guest author post is by Cathy L. Greenberg, Ph.D. and Barrett S. Avigdor, JD, co-authors of What Happy Working Mothers Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Lead to a Healthy and Happy Work/Life Balance (Wiley, September 2009).

Every business, regardless of your industry, has to learn to do more with fewer resources.  On the people side of the business, that means you need to get the best performance possible out of your employees.  And, you need to do that without an outlay of cash for incentive bonuses, training or team meetings at 5 star resorts.

The secret to maximizing performance is to create an environment in which your employees are happy.   A happy employee is highly engaged, flourishing and has achieved an acceptable work life balance.

We know that high employee engagement leads to high performance.  Recent studies by the Corporate Leadership Council, Towers Perrin and Development Dimensions International, show that a highly engaged work force results in a 20% improvement in employee productivity, a 50% reduction in unplanned attrition and a 23% increase in customer satisfaction.  But employee engagement is just part of the answer.  To truly maximize the performance of your work force, you also need to create an environment where they can flourish.

1.  Create a positive environment

Human flourishing, according to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson of the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, is “to live within an optimal range of human functioning, one that connotes goodness…growth and resilience”.  When a person is flourishing, they are thinking with their entire brain and make more ethical and creative decisions.  In order for employees to flourish, they need a highly positive environment.  They need frequent positive feedback, an environment in which ridicule and gossip are not tolerated and they need to know that they will not be punished for making a well intentioned mistake.

2.  Manage based on expanding strengths

A strengths based approach to management can unleash tremendous productivity, creativity and enthusiasm in a work force.  As described in “Go, Put Your Strengths to Work” and other books by Marcus Buckingham, the strengths based approach empowers employees to shape their job into their dream job.  It begins with the employee identifying those activities at work that energize him (strengths) and those activities that drain him (weaknesses).   He then discusses those strengths and weaknesses with his team and his manager and together, they find ways to gradually give him more of the work that energizes him and to find strategies to shrink the amount of time he spends on activities that drain him.
 
3.  Be flexible wherever you can

Many employees, especially those with young families, put a high premium on flexible work schedules and feel loyal to employers who provide it.   We recently did a survey of over 1000 women around the world for our book, “What Happy Working Mothers Know”.  In answer to the question “If you make one change about your work environment, what would it be”?  26.3% said they would increase the flexibility in their work schedule.  Men crave flexibility too.

Happiness in the work place comes from positivity, working to your strengths and having the flexibility to find an acceptable work life balance.  And happy employees are high performing employees.